3. Hating Backpackers

The bane of every expat falang’s existence in Laos is their own unfortunate resemblance to the “wrong kind of falang”—the backpacker.  Nothing offends a falang more than being asked “How long are you traveling for?”  Avoid this pitfall by recognizing the common traits of the homo backpackeris:

photo via: travel.cnn.com

• Tubing in the Vang Vieng tanktop
• Dreadlocks
• Many conspicuous tattoos
• Unshowered appearance, sometimes accompanied by an unpleasant odour
• Shirtlessness or general inappropriate show of skin
• For women, tattered denim cutoffs; for men, “bro-tanks” with massive arm holes
• Lonely Planet book
• Beerlao bottle in hand walking down the street
• And the dead giveaway: a giant backpack

If, despite your best efforts, you fail to distinguish the two, dig yourself out of this hole by complimenting the expat falang on their bravery to live abroad for so long. (Yes, this even applies to those falang who have lived here for three weeks.)

Falang will go to extreme measures to differentiate themselves from the “wrong kind of falang.”  These efforts include wearing sinhs, greeting restaurant staff in Lao, carrying a motorbike helmet as if it’s an additional appendage, and denouncing traditional backpacker activities and “lack of cultural awareness.”

If you’re hanging out with your falang friend and conversation stalls, ask their opinion on shirtless backpackers.  Expect them to give you an earful as they posture to distinguish themselves from their maligned alter-egos.